My mom says I know how to fix things. I tell her that it’s not so much that I know how to fix things - it’s more of a process I follow when something goes wrong. I kind of get into a troubleshooting mode and start working problems out when things break.
True, most things end up fixed but I don’t think being able to “fix things” is quite accurate. True again, I love this kind of work but I’d say I’m more of a problem solver, not a fixer. I’d say I’m fairly good at diagnosing things and that I have more check marks in the “got it right” column than the “got it wrong” column.
My computer started having a minor problem and I wanted it taken care of; nothing big, just an occasional error message. I would rate my overall knowledge of computers and the like at a little above average. I perceived the error to be minor and I had a vague idea about what might be causing the problem. Again, nothing big, it was just more of a nuisance than anything. But I did not understand why the error was occurring.
That being said, I don’t like to let these problems, small or large, go unresolved as they usually get bigger as time goes by. At Dirty Shirt we have to deal with everything that breaks and computers certainly need care and feeding. They break, like everything else.
So I decided to give my 1-800 number a call to discuss it with them again. About a month ago I discussed this exact problem with them - they offered a fix and over time it was revealed that the problem was not resolved. So I called them again.
We’ve all done this 800 number thing before and I’ve observed over time that all females that answer 800 numbers are named “Julie” and all males that answer the same phones are named “Kevin.” For every 800 support number there are a pack of Julies and Kevins waiting to assist me.
As a side note – all plumbers are named “Joe” and all insurance adjusters are named “Lonnie.” All plumbers and insurance adjusters have been doing their jobs for 25 years. All Julies and Kevins have been on the job for exactly one day.
So Julie answers the phone and we have a chat about the history of the problem and what I see happening today and that we need to take a different look at this issue. The script she’s reading from tells her to say she “will assist me with fixing my problem.” Cool – I like a can-do attitude.
It takes her about 90 seconds of mangling my email address as she takes down my personal information prior to working the problem. I state my email address over and over again until she finally gets it. I provide her with the exact error message on my computer twice.
I don’t think another minute had gone by when she declares that I will need to do a full restore of my system. No checking, no verification of where the error is coming from, no database search on her end, no “conferring with colleagues;” she just says that I need to do a full system restore to fix the error.
She lets it slip as she’s talking aloud to herself that she’s unfamiliar with the error but it is clear her company’s software is producing it. The name of her company is a part of the error message.
This is where I’m reminded yet again that bullshit is a universal language and is spoken and understood by almost everyone, certainly by Julie and understood by me.
I should note that I have a lot of respect for people who are in the business of diagnosing and fixing problems. It’s a tough job and sometimes the bear is a little bigger than you are. “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” are really quite acceptable answers to me. I can handle the truth, just tell it to me. We’ll figure something out.
I won’t get into the details of a full system restore but it represents hours and hours of work. I’ve been involved with that slice of heaven before. That is no way to spend a weekend while Julie is out walking her local bazaar in the sunshine and kick’n it with her Jerusalem Cruisers.
At this point I start to choke a little on my own rage. The problem isn’t that she’s saying I need to do a restore but it’s what she didn’t do before she made her declaration. She’s checked nothing, she had no idea what was causing the problem or even if it was affecting performance or anything else. Nothing. She had no idea whether a full restore would even fix the problem.
It’s like me saying I have a tire that’s a little low on air pressure and she tells me that pulling the engine will fix the tire. Call back in two weeks if it doesn’t and speak to the new Julie, this Julie has some shopping to do.
So I let her have it. I mean I really let her have it; right in the ear. She won the prize for stupid tech support of the month and I pointed that out to her in agonizing detail. As an illustration I ask her to read the error back to me – I’ve provided it twice already. She can’t even squeak out the first word in the error message.
Actually, I don’t believe she’s stupid; I don’t think that at all. In fact, experience tells me she probably has a PhD degree. That’s just a guess though. What I do believe is that she had no idea how to isolate failures and diagnose problems. In my defense for letting her have it I’d like to point out that diagnosing problems is her job and that “I don’t know” has merit as an answer. So does “let’s get more help on the phone.”
It’s possible that the only requirement for securing her job was a PhD degree and a willingness to let westerners call her Julie. I dunno. Performing diagnostics was apparently not a part of the interview. I just know it didn’t happen. I then told her I wanted to speak to someone else.
Yo Kevin – Within 20 seconds I’m really feeling the love from him. He wants to connect to my computer and have a look around, he does so and performs a visual inspection, he offers up some possibilities and probabilities about what he thinks might be causing the problem (but he’s not sure), he makes some minor changes and suggests that we wait and see if the problem is fixed before doing anything rash. He’ll keep my ticket open for two weeks – he probably won’t but I don’t’ care, I have the ticket number.
Now I’m impressed. And ladies and gentlemen, that is how you approach a problem with a diagnostic mindset and set about troubleshooting an issue you’re not sure about.
Kevin, through experience, knew that you never rip out and replace all of the wiring in your house when a lamp stops coming on; you check the bulb first and go from there. But you’ve got to look at the thing with your eyes, as he did, or how would you know otherwise? Julie would have ripped out all of the wires – and I would be the one paying for it. And the lamp still wouldn’t have come on. Julie, she was full of bright ideas.
The Diagnose page on Dirty Shirt talks about this exact scenario and how Kevin’s approach nailed it and Julie’s approach left me, well, still frustrated with all of the Julies of the world. Check out the page and see if you can find your inner-Kevin…
Jeff - Dirty Shirt Contributor
www.dirtyshirt.info
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment